War
| A gentler way |
| At the morning roll call at Fort Dix, the sergeant called out,"Platoon, atten-HUT! Private Martinez, report to the office. Your brother died last night."The Chaplain, Rabbi Horowitz, looked on in horror. "Sergeant," he saidafterwards, "that's a rather cruel and unfeeling way to break tragic news. We must be more gentle and less abrupt in the future,"The sergeant shrugged. "Yes sir. I'll try to remember that." He didn'tlook very convinced.Several days later, a call came in about another family death. As the troops were assembling for roll call, the Chaplain stepped forward."Let me take this one, sergeant", he said. He turned toward the sleepy-looking soldiers and said, "Platoon, atten-HUT !" They came to attention. "Good morning, men!" he said. "Good morning, sir", they replied. "Men, today is Mother's Day, and I hope all of you will be calling home to send your moms a loving thought. In fact, all of youwho are fortunate enough to still have a mother who's alive and well, take two steps forward. Private Jones; not so fast!" |
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Category: War |
| Released: 2007-07-02 |
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| A good idea |
| Having passed the enlistment physical, Jon was asked bythe doctor, "Why do you want to join the Navy, son?""My father said it'd be a good idea, sir.""Oh? And what does your father do?""He's in the Army, sir." |
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Category: War |
| Released: 2007-07-02 |
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| A marine general, an army general and a navy admiral... |
| A marine general, an army general and a navy admiral were discussing who had the toughest men. The army general says, "Alright, I'll prove the army has the toughest men in the country. Private, get overhere!" The private reports as ordered, "Yes sir?" The general says, "See that man over there? Kill him!" Without hesitating, the private kills the man. The general says, "See? That man has balls!" The marine general says, That's nothing. Private, get over here!" The marine private reports, "Yes, sir?" The marine general says, "See that man over there? Kill him andthen kill yourself." Without blinking, the marine private pulls out his M-16 and blowsaway the guy, then turns the rifle on himself and unloads several rounds. The marine general says, "See? Now that man has balls!" The admiral says, "That's nothing." He calls to a seaman high up on a tower, "Hey, seaman, jump offthat tower!" The seaman answers, "Excuse me, sir?" The admiral repeats, "JUMP OFF THAT TOWER!" The seaman replies, "Fuck you, sir!" The admiral says, "See? That man has balls and he's got brains too!" |
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Category: War |
| Released: 2007-07-02 |
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| A recruit who wasn't really meant to be a soldier... |
| A recruit who wasn't really meant to be a soldier went out to the rifle range for the first time. He missed every target and most of the hills behind them. Despondent, he said to the sergeant, "I think I'll just go and shoot myself."The sergeant said, "Better take a couple of extra bullets!" |
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Category: War |
| Released: 2007-07-02 |
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