Jokes, Jokes and More Jokes - We want to collect a Bazillion Jokes in one place Page 2 |
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Men
| A small boy was lost at a large shopping mall... |
| A small boy was lost at a large shopping mall.He approached a uniformed policeman and said, "I've lost my dad!"The cop asked, "What's he like?"The little boy replied, "Beer and women with big tits." |
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Category: Men |
| Released: 2007-07-02 |
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| Alcohol vs Women |
| A guy says, "I remember the first time I used alcohol as a substitute for women.""Yeah what happened?" asked the other.The first guy replies, "Well, I got my penis stuck in the neck of the bottle." |
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Category: Men |
| Released: 2007-07-02 |
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| Another costume |
| A guy goes into a costume shop. He says, "I'm going to acostume party, I want to go as Adam." The girl brings outa fig leaf. He says, "Not big enough."She brings out a bigger one. He says, "Still not big enough."She brings out a huge fig leaf. He says, "Still not big enough."She says, "Listen, Ace, why don't you just throw it over yourshoulder and go as a gasoline pump?" |
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Category: Men |
| Released: 2007-07-02 |
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| Are YOU A HARD MAN? |
| Are YOU A HARD MAN?1/. When reaching your sexual climax do you?a) Make low moaning sounds in her ear.b) Suck on her neck to produce a love bite.c) Shove your thumb up her arse so she screams her tits off.2/. You're in bed one night and she whispers "I love you". Do you?a) Whisper back "I love you too".b) Put your arse on her leg and fart.c) Say "Go to sleep dog breath".3/. After you have made love to your wife do you?a) Hold her in your arms until she falls asleep.b) Wipe your dick on her nightie and turn over.c) Tell the bitch to go get in with the kids.4/. If you break wind during the night do you?a) Try and cough at the same time and hope she didn't hear.b) Hold her head under the covers laughing your bollocks off. c)Blame her and give her a boot.5/. If she breaks wind do you?a) Be a gentleman and pretend you didn't hear.b) Clout the bitch.c) Say "you dirty bitch" and shove her out in the back yard.6/. You come home early and find her in bed with a big buck negro.Do you? a) Close the door quietly and clear off. b) Join in andstick it up the negro's arse. c) Dowse them both with petrol andset fire to the cunts.7/. Your toilet's in the bathroom, you're busting for a crap andshe's in the bath. Do you?a) Go next door and use theirs.b) Yell "Move it goat face, the fuckin tortoise head's out of theshell". c) Sit next to her making noises like a flock of starlingstaking off.8/. You want sex but it's rag week. Do you?a) Wait until next week.b) Wank.c) Get your face in there and come up looking like the man on theRibena ad.9/. She announces she is leaving you. Do you?a) Break down in tears and beg her to stay.b) Put up streamers and arrange a street party.c) Empty your nostrils in her face, kick her in the cunt, then getpissed.10/. She tells you she's having an unwanted baby. Do you?a) Tell her not to worry, we'll manage somehow.b) Belt her in the guts with a cricket bat.c) Sell the house, clean out the bank account and scarper.SCORE: a) 1. b) 2. c) 3.0 - 15. If brains were spuds, you'd own Ireland.15 - 29. You must try harder.30. Congrats. You're one of the boys. |
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Category: Men |
| Released: 2007-07-02 |
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