Jokes, Jokes and More Jokes - We want to collect a Bazillion Jokes in one place Page 3 |
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Doctor Jokes
| Can I play the piano once these are off? |
| |A doctor has come to see one of his patients in a hospital. The patient has had major surgery to both of his hands."Doctor," says the man excitedly and dramatically holds up his heavily bandaged hands. "Will I be able to play the piano when these bandages come off?""I don't see why not," replies the doctor."That's funny," says the man. "I wasn't able to play it before." |
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Category: Doctor Jokes |
| Released: 2007-07-02 |
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| College |
| It is recounted that at King?s College in the Strand around the time of the war, the Chief of Services would inevitably begin the year?s rounds by teaching "a singularly important principle of medicine." He asked a nurse to fetch him a sample of urine. He then talked at length about diabetes mellitus. "Diabetes," he said, "is a Greek name; but the Romans noticed that the bees like the urine of diabetics, so they added the word mellitus which means sweet as honey. Well, as you know, you may find sugar in the urine of a diabetic..."By now, the nurse had returned with a sample of urine which the registrar promptly held up like a trophy. We stared at that straw colored fluid as if we had never seen such a thing before. The registrar then startled us. He dipped a finger boldly into the urine, then licked his finger with the tip of his tongue. As if tasting wine, he opened and closed his lips rapidly. Could he perhaps detect a faint taste of sugar? The sample was passed on to us for an opinion. We all dipped a finger into the fluid, all of us foolishly licked that finger."Now," said the Registrar grinning, "you have learned the first principle of diagnosis. I mean the power of observation."We were baffled. We stood near the sluice room outside the ward, and in the distance, some anonymous patient was explosively coughing. "You see," the registrar said continuing triumphantly, "I dipped my MIDDLE finger into the urine, but licked my INDEX finger, not like all you chaps." |
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Category: Doctor Jokes |
| Released: 2007-07-02 |
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| College Physics |
| A college physics professor was explaining a particularly complicated concept to his class when a pre-med student interrupted him."Why do we have to learn this stuff?" the frustrated student blurted out."To save lives," the professor responded before continuing the lecture.A few minutes later the student spoke up again. "So how does physics save lives?"The professor stared at the student without saying a word. "Physics saves lives," he finally continued, "because it keeps the idiots out of medical school." |
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Category: Doctor Jokes |
| Released: 2007-07-02 |
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| Crazy people talk |
| |A doctor of psychology was doing his normal morning rounds when he entered a patient's room. He found Patient #1 sitting on the floor, pretending to saw a piece of wood in half. Patient #2 was hanging from the ceiling, by his feet. The doctor asked patient number 1 what he was doing. The patient replied, "Can't you see I'm sawing this piece of wood in half?" The doctor inquired of Patient #1 what Patient #2 was doing. Patient #1 replied, "Oh. He's my friend, but he's a little crazy. He thinks he's a lightbulb." The doctor looks up and notices Patient #2's face is going all red. The doctor asks Patient #1, "If he's your friend, you should get him down from there before he hurts himself" Patient #1 replies, "What? And work in the dark?" |
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Category: Doctor Jokes |
| Released: 2007-07-02 |
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