Jokes, Jokes and More Jokes - We want to collect a Bazillion Jokes in one place |
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Children
| A boy finished cutting the lawn of a priest... |
| A boy finished cutting the lawn of a priest...the grass was very thickand long, and it took the boy about 4 hours to cut. He approachedthe Father for payment and the priest paid him $1.00.The boy said "Thank you, virgin Father!"The priest replied, "What did you say?"The boy repeated, "Thank you, virgin Father!"The priest asked him, "Do you know what that means?"The boy replied, "Yes.... tight ass!" |
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Category: Children |
| Released: 2007-07-02 |
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| A circumcision |
| Little Joey and Little Danny, both aged 5, are walking home fromschool. Danny says "I won't be going to school tomorrow." "Why not?" asks Joey. "I have to go to the hospital," says Danny woefully. "That's awful," says Joey. "Why do you have to go there? Are yousick?" Danny shakes his head and replies, "I have to have a circumcision." Joey stops dead in his tracks, an expression of complete horror acrosshis face, "That's Horrible!" he cries, "Why, I had that done when I wasborn, and I couldn't walk for MONTHS!!" |
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Category: Children |
| Released: 2007-07-02 |
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| A clear moral |
| One day at the end of class little Billy's teacher has the class go home and think of a story and then conclude the moral of that story.The following day the teacher asks for the first volunteerto tell a story. Suzy said, "Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the truck and drive into town to sell them at the market. Well, one Sunday we hit a big bump and all the eggs flew out of the basket and onto theroad." The teacher asks for the moral of the story. Suzy replies, "Don't keep all your eggs in one basket." Next is little Lucy. "Well, my dad owns a farm too and every weekend we take the chicken eggs and put them in the incubator. Last weekend only 8 of the 12 eggs hatched." The teacher asks for the moral of the story.Lucy replies "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched."Last is little Billy. "My uncle Ted fought in the Vietnam war; his plane was shot down over enemy territory. He jumped out before it crashed with only a case of beer, a machine gun and a machete. On the way down he drank the case of beer. Unfortunately, he landed right in the middle of100 Vietnamese soldiers. He shot 70 with his machine gun but ran out of bullets, so he pulled out his machete and killed 20 more. The blade on his machete broke, so he killed the last ten with his bare hands". The teacher looks in shock at Billy and asks if there is possibly anymoral to his story. Billy replies, "Don't fuck with uncle Ted when he'sbeen drinking." |
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Category: Children |
| Released: 2007-07-02 |
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| A failed attempt |
| Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold creamon her face."Why do you do that, Mommy?""To make myself beautiful," said his mother, who then began removingthe cream with a tissue."What's the matter?" asked Little Johnny. "Giving up?" |
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Category: Children |
| Released: 2007-07-02 |
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