Jokes, Jokes and More Jokes - We want to collect a Bazillion Jokes in one place Page 2 |
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Animal World
| A dog walks into a butcher shop... |
A dog walks into a butcher shop with a purse strapped around his neck. He walks up to the meat case and calmly sits there until it's his turn to be waited on.
A man, who was already in the butcher shop, finished his purchase and noticed the dog. The butcher leaned over the counter and asked the dog what it wanted today.
The dog put its paw on the glass case in front of the ground beef,and the butcher said, "How many pounds?" The dog barked twice, so the butcher made a package of two pounds ground beef.
He then said,"Anything else?" The dog pointed to the pork chops, and the butcher said, "How many?" The dog barked four times, and the butcher made upa package of four pork chops.
The dog walked around behind the counter, so the butcher could get at the purse and take out the appropriate amount of money before tying the two packages of meat around the dog's neck.
The man, who had been watching all of this, decided to follow the dog. The dog walked for several blocks and then walked up to a house where it began to scratch the door to be let in.
As the owner opened the door, the man called to the owner, "That's a really smart dog you have there."
"He's not really all that smart," the owner replied."This is the second time this week he forgot his key."
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Category: Animal World |
| Released: 2007-07-02 |
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| A Duck walks into a bar... |
A Duck walks into a bar.
Duck: You got any bread?
Barman: No, sorry, we don't have any bread
[After a few minutes]Duck: You got any bread?
Barman: Look, we don't have any bread
[In a little while]Duck: You got any bread?
Barman: We don't have any F*****g bread!
[Some time later]Duck: Got any bread?
Barman: If you ask me if I've got any F*****g bread once more I'm gonna nail your F*****g bill to this bar..................
Duck: You got any nails?
Barman: NO!
Duck: You got any bread?
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Category: Animal World |
| Released: 2007-07-02 |
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| A duck walks into a general store... |
| A duck walks into a general store and asks the manager,"Gotany fresh fruit?""No.""Got any fresh vegetables?""No. We have only canned and dry goods."The next day, the duck returns."Got any fresh fruit?""No.""Got any fresh vegetables?""No. I told you yesterday, we have only canned and dry goods. If you come back tomorrow and ask me the same question, I'll nail your flippers to the floor."On the 3rd day, the duck walks in and asks,"Got any nails?""No.""Got any fresh fruit?" |
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Category: Animal World |
| Released: 2007-07-02 |
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| A fair warning |
Tourist guide at zoo:
"Ladies and gentlemen, this is the elephant, the largest animal to roam the lands. Every day the elephant eats 3 dozen bunches of bananas, 6 tons of hay, and 2000 pounds of assorted fruits.
Madam, please don't stand near the elephant's backside.... Madam, PLEASE don't stand near the elephant's backside ... MADAM ... MADAM ..., too late;
George, dig her out."
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Category: Animal World |
| Released: 2007-07-02 |
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